Define: Undignified

I’ve been sweating blood over a piece of research, and a couple of weeks ago finally arrived at the firm deadline where deep thoughts had to be thrown into some kind of arena.  The Chief Brain’s strategy for getting the team to actually finish, rather than academically procrastinate in ever-increasing circles, was to set up an event where luminaries would come to hear us talk about our research.

Which meant we had to have something to say.  Something which wouldn’t cause heads to nod slowly forward in slumber.  The dreaded PowerPoint would be required.

To my great surprise I managed to get through my share of the public-facing activity without turning puce.  And although there were multiple last-minute logistical panics, if you’d been in the audience you wouldn’t have noticed them.

As an added bonus, it was in the small European city of Strasbourg, which is home to one of the most delicate lumps of a building I’ve ever seen.

The morning after the day before, I woke up with a gleeful feeling.  I’d done it!  There’d been more than enough wine and canapes to satisfy even the hungriest bureaucrat, nobody was refused security clearance into the venue, and nobody became narcoleptic while I was talking to them.  I sashayed happily into the hotel bathroom for my morning ablutions cradling the feeling of a job well done.

I was paying only moderately committed attention to what I was doing as I climbed into the bath, which is why it came as something of a shock to find myself, nanoseconds later, having involuntarily adopted the curiously painful position of a fish out of water.

My left leg was in agony.  What could have happened?  Whatever it was, it was enough to almost (almost, for I am tough) make me cry.  Only two weeks ago I stubbed my little toe on a piece of misplaced garden stone hard enough for it to turn purple and double in size (it still hurts, a bit).  Surely, the court of life could not hand down two injuries in as many weeks?  I am spatially unaware, ridiculously uncoordinated, and I often walk into walls, but oh come on, I thought as my vision returned.

My best guess is that my right foot slipped sort of backwards and to the right in the hyper-clean bath just as I was transferring my weight across.  Whatever – as I completed a tendon-busting set of the splits, the tender inside of my left leg felt my gravitationally-assisted bulk weigh down on it as it scraped down the outer tiled corner of the tub on my way to the fish-flailing position.

Aye, it hurt.

This is after ten days of liberal application of arnica cream.  The skin has grown back, and the outer edge of the bruise is turning healing-green-and-yellow.  It’s a good thing I’m not a skirt-wearer.  I really must try to be more careful.


8 Responses to “Define: Undignified”

  1. 1 trash May 11, 2011 at 6:53 pm


  2. 2 Jen on the Edge May 11, 2011 at 9:44 pm

    Oh my god, that looks awful. I’m glad you’re hurt worse than that.

  3. 3 Jenn @ Juggling Life May 12, 2011 at 3:24 am

    That looks terrible! It’s just a good thing it wasn’t your Words with Friends playing finger . . . I hope that heals in time for swimsuit weather!

  4. 4 Gail May 12, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    I have one very similar. And it’s still tender. So I feel for you. But Strasbourg has a beautiful cathedral, and your presentation went well so it sort of balances out that injury?

  5. 5 Pilgrimchick May 15, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    Wow–that is quite a bruise there!

  6. 6 clay ball May 20, 2011 at 9:29 pm

    Yikes…hope that leg is feeling better!

    This is the first & only mention of arnica cream I’ve heard anyone utter in cyberspace…I LOVE that stuff, it really works like magic (usually–maybe this was an extra-special case)!


  7. 7 Jonathan May 23, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    The girl that sits behind me at work fell a couple of feet off a climbing wall recently and had a purple arm to show for it for about two weeks…

    Don’t worry about being accident prone – I’ve broken toes more often than anybody else I know. Most recently about a month ago…

  8. 8 meditubs schwartz joe December 22, 2015 at 10:22 am

    Tremendous things here. I am very satisfied to see your post.
    Thank you a lot and I am looking ahead to contact you.
    Will you please drop me a mail?

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