Stop the world! I want to get back on.

I’ve been working to meet the kind of deadlines that reduce you to tears even when the required technology is functioning well, let alone when it throws regular tantrums.

Then I succumbed to flu.  I don’t mean a cough or cold or ill-defined under the weather feeling, I mean bona fides can’t move and must have every need fulfilled by others flu.  It was the second-worst illness I’ve had in ten years.

On the First and Second Days of Flu, owing to the aforementioned deadlines, I ignored it and hoped it would go away.  I was delusional, believing it to be a gentle cold.  At the end of the Second Day of Flu I heaved my arms in the air and went for festive drinks with my favourite band of subversive Marxist friends.  After all, all deadlines and no drinking makes Nic a dull woman.

I left the festive drinks early, at 11.30pm.  At 1.45am I was still in transit, having sworn at idiot railway staff, stood on a freezing railway platform for 32 minutes to get on the only train available stopping within a 10-mile radius of my home, and then waited in a freezing queue for the pleasure of paying a taxi-driver an arm and a leg to drive me part of the way back in the direction I’d just come on the train, to get me to my door.  The Flu was gathering its powers.

On the Third Day of Flu, I met my deadline but I will admit the quality of my output left a little to be desired, for I was barely cognisant.  My appetite disappeared.

I cannot recall what happened on the Fourth Day of Flu.  I do know that it hurt.  I could not move from the sofa, and I either stared into space or slept for most of the day.  I could not watch TV, I could not read a book.  I was unable to regulate my own body temperature, though K-man insists I had no fever.  I think we need a new thermometer.

On the Fifth Day of Flu I could get up and move around, having slept reasonably well.  I walked to the library with K-man, who was desperate to talk to a human.  I felt some nausea on the way back, but thought I was on the mend.  I did not sleep during day or, tellingly, that night.

For the Sixth Day of Flu, see the Fourth Day of Flu, only with added cold sweating all through the night, and rising degrees of frustration.  I demanded the strongest over-the-counter drugs money could buy, and overdosed mildly on them.

On the Seventh Day of Flu I was having cold sweats to the point where I started to wonder whether I am in fact peri-menopausal and this Flu thing is just a decoy.  The notion of chewing and swallowing induced low-level panic and thoughts of throwing up, but I could sit in my chair and start to meet deadlines again.  So I did.  I had to give up and lie down in the late afternoon because staring at the computer also made me feel like puking.

On the Eighth Day of Flu I felt 80% normal but I could not bend down because ultimately I would have to bend up again, and when I did that my head felt like it would fall off.  I transcribed two interviews while sitting in only a small puddle of my own sweat.

This is the Ninth Day of Flu and I am 95% back to normal, although I did just need four attempts at spelling eighth.

I feel like the world spun faster and faster until I fell off.  It’s why I haven’t blogged, emailed, or commented.  It’s why nobody is getting a Christmas card from me this year even though I still love them, and it’s why today I am happy just to be feeling well.

I am going to my parents’ house tonight, for our first Christmas together in five whole years, and I can’t wait.

I hope you all have mind-blowingly wonderful holidays and a great New Year.  See you in 2011!


6 Responses to “Stop the world! I want to get back on.”

  1. 1 Jenn @ Juggling Life December 23, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    I hope it’s really and truly over and you can enjoy your holiday–with deadlines in the rearview mirror.

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

  2. 2 trash December 23, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    This really is a bastard bloody bug. Up here on The Hill we have people falling like dominoes with real live honest-to-goodness flu. And then some who just have quite bad colds but are trying their hand at proper, grown-up ‘man flu’.

    Glad you are mending and wishing you a fabulous family Christmas.

  3. 3 kellyg December 24, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    I hope you are on the mend and can enjoy Christmas with your family. That sounds like a pretty brutal week and change.

    Have a merry Christmas! See you in 2011.

  4. 4 rima December 24, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    Glad you’re feeling better! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family, Nic!

  5. 5 Suzanne December 25, 2010 at 12:44 am

    Glad you’re feeling better! Hope the trend continues and no more setbacks foil your plans. Happy Holidays, Nic!

  6. 6 Bella Rum December 27, 2010 at 11:12 am

    What a week! Sounds horrible. I’m so glad you felt better before Christmas. Hope you enjoyed it.

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