DIY Update: The Total Destruction Chapter

Don't look directly at it, if you value your eyesight.

This is the view from our hallway into the separate bathroom and toilet.  Who but a buffoon would put a wall across one giant window?  Why would you have a separate toilet and bathroom?  In the 1930s, amazingly, it was the done thing: the house was built like that.  I usually veer toward the traditional in my decor preferences, tis true, but I have certain basic needs when it comes to my ablutions.  I do not want to walk around an unnecessary wall and through two doors to get to the sink to wash my hands after going to the loo.  Neither of us are large people but it is a bit claustrophobic when taking a pee – the toilet is just around the corner to the left and the room isn’t large enough to swing a gnat.  The house needs a decent-sized family bathroom.

Note also the visual trauma involved in the highlighter-pen greed juxtaposed with the 1980s avocado suite.   It’s not the thing for easing gently through a hangover.  We believe the previous occupant had a set of the largest and most impairing cataracts mankind has ever experienced.

There is really only one thing for it, when you’re faced with this.  We’ve been waiting five months, and finally…

Madre de Dios.

That’s not to say I didn’t utter a gasp on my return from work today.  It’s a home improvement train wreck.  I found myself staring open-mouthed and silent for fully ten minutes.

The original floorboards have had (surprise!) shitty laminate floor tiles pasted down all over them, and then some even cheaper laminate MDF bollocks has gone straight over the top of that.  On the walls there was an inch-thick layer of cement stuff on top of plaster, and on top of that tiles had been laid over tiles.  The house is one massive onion of bodge-jobs.  We’re going right back to the bricks to decorate properly from scratch.

Aw yeah.

The All Purpose Polish Tradesman took away the door to the toilet room along with the wall, so for the next few days we’ll have to make sure the two windows within eyeline of the bog have the curtains drawn when someone needs to relieve themselves.  It is notable that I arrived home almost four hours ago and I’ve yet to sample the delights of a toilet which is effectively in my hallway.

We don’t have a sink either for at least the next two days.

Collateral Damage

There is plaster dust all through the house, even though we ensured all the doors from the demolition zone to other rooms were shut.  That shit gets everywhere: my mouth tastes like I’ve sucked a piece of aluminium, for some reason, and K-man’s had a coughing fit.  We abused our Dyson for a little while getting rid of the worst of it, but there’s really no point because there’s a fair bit of destruction yet to be wrought and the dust will continue to settle out of the air anyway.  At least I won’t have to clean for another three weeks.

Yes, three weeks is what we’ve been told it will be until our bathroom looks like something out of a catalogue.  And until then, I will repeat my ‘keep the faith’ mantra under my breath.


7 Responses to “DIY Update: The Total Destruction Chapter”

  1. 1 Jenn @ Juggling Life August 17, 2010 at 10:24 pm

    Plaster dust is the worst. I had closed doors and vizquine up and it was still everywhere. In the case of your bathroom, it does seem like it will be quite worth the trouble!

  2. 2 Jen on the Edge August 18, 2010 at 12:39 am

    This is probably the point at which I’d be throwing stuff into a suitcase and heading for a hotel. Holy moly, what a mess. Hang in there!

  3. 3 Stacie August 18, 2010 at 7:57 am

    Just think of that gorgeous new bathroom when it’s all finished. Strength and peace to you in the meantime!

  4. 4 Meg August 18, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    That dust sure is nasty. I bet your bathroom will just be lovely after this. Are you keeping with that green or have you chosen a different color?

  5. 5 Suzanne August 19, 2010 at 9:10 am

    Ooooh, exciting! I must live vicariously through you, since I cannot even dream of affording to re-do my hideous bathroom anytime soon.

    When I moved in 18 years ago, the green and black tile circa 1940s was paired with early 60s atomic age peach & gray vanity formica and a 70s era one piece dark gray vinyl tub surround. I managed to get rid of the hideous cave-like tub surround around 13 years ago, although the fake tile replacement isn’t really too much better, other than the fact that at least it’s white, so it opens up the space a bit more. I would love to re-do the bathroom. And the kitchen. And refinish or replace the wood floors that are so old and scuffed there’s no finish left on them. And. And. And. The list is endless… But you and K-man seem to be making nice progress! Kudos!

  6. 6 bramble August 21, 2010 at 2:33 am

    I tried to type words of encouragement but that green is making me seasick! Good luck and good riddance!

  7. 7 pilgrimchick August 22, 2010 at 5:47 pm

    Wow! I was looking at a house for rent once that had a toilet in a closet and a bathroom with wall to wall carpetting. No horrible green color or walled off window, though.

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